I have such mixed emotions right now of my bulging belly. I am Soooo DONE being pregnant and yet I'm not quite sure I'm ready for this new addition to be joined with our family. I love bed time, that is when my house is quiet, my body is still and I can really focus on the baby. The baby moves like crazy once I get situated with my pillow fort around me, it's rather comforting. And aside from feeling like a heifer and being completely uncomfortable...We are excited about another baby, but it seems so weird to think that Grady won't be the baby anymore...he really still is a baby. I want to relish in each of my kids as they are now because I know once the baby comes so does the chaos of another school year and well a baby.
Sometimes, well often for me I get so caught up in the future, about tomorrow, next week, 7 more weeks :) etc...that I truly forget to look at today and be grateful for what it is. Screaming kids, over an hour putting kids to bed, Dr. appointments, vomiting children and yet tomorrow will be a new day, with smiling faces, hugs to receive, kisses on my cheek. How can I not enjoy that?
I wonder in moments of extreme chaos (there's lots of those around here) how I will possibly be able to handle another one? How can I spread myself even thinner than I am now? I will give you that the bed rest issue has added to my moments of feeling overwhelmed, but just life with minimal chaos (what am I thinking? look at my life) is crazy. It never seems to just lull by, the days passing in the summer heat. I guess if it did, I might complain at the lack of interest or activity...
I really shouldn't complain. I am blessed beyond measure. Okay enough of my stress vent. I'm going to go take a hot bath and read a book.
As I do, my prayer is this: Lord, please allow me to enjoy the many blessings you have given me and to take each day for what's its worth and relish in it, for tomorrow it will be gone. Allow me to see the positive in the mudain and the chaos that is my life. Help me to show my kids love and grace even when I'm hot and tired.
"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14
Good Night!
2 comments:
you show great faith in a tough time... your name was aptly given to you. all of us mothers are with you - in the chaos and the constant pull. some day when the kids are gone we'll wonder what to do with ourselves. I too need to enjoy the moment and bless the Lord for His blessings. thanks for sharing!
aaahh, rest my friend. More excitement to come. :)
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